When you’re in the middle of choosing, or working on courier jobs there are some situations you definitely want to avoid. How do old couriers pass on their years of accumulated wisdom to the younger generation of up-and-coming hotshots? Through legions of jokes and humourous stories about the perils of driving and courier jobs! We’ve picked out a few of our favourites to share.

Speeding

On one of his more urgent courier jobs, a young man found himself pulled over by a policeman for speeding. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the officer told him (somewhat bizarrely). Keeping his cool, the young courier replied “Well, I got here as quickly as I could.” When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the young man on his way with only a caution. Something to bear in mind when you have urgent deliveries to make – a little wit might go a long way.

Chasing Chickens

One story we’ve heard illustrates the state of zen-like calm to aim for when undertaking stressful courier jobs. One trucker’s helper faced an unusual challenge during his first delivery while rushing to get a truckful of chickens to a market before it closed. Hitting a slick spot on the road, the driver lost control, skidded, and careened into a ditch. Though the truck completely turned over, sending hundreds of crates flying, both driver and helper escaped from the wreckage unharmed – to see the frenzied chickens flapping everywhere. “What do we do now?” the helper asked. “Well, son,” the driver replied, “First we thank the Lord for sparing our lives.” “Then what?” “Then,” the driver continued, “We curse like hell.”

No Good Deed…

During a full day of deliveries, one kind-hearted man managed to squeeze in a backload for his elderly neighbour – a new radiator for her house. When he returned with the radiator, he brought it inside for her, and then returned to his van. “I must pay you,” the old lady said. “That’s alright,” he joked with her, “maybe one day my van will break down and you can give me a lift instead.” When the woman took stock of the Good Samaritan, who’d had to crawl under his van twice and hadn’t had time for a haircut in months, she shook her head. “Young man,” she said, “You’d better take the money. I wouldn’t give a lift to someone who looks like you.” The elderly lady had a point – being well presented can make a big difference on courier jobs!

Bumper Stickers

Knowing every inch of your vehicle can make the difference between hard and easy courier jobs. One truck driver often became irritable after some occasions when other drivers had cut him off, not understanding how difficult it can be to slow down in a large truck. After one day, however, he cheerfully announced to his colleagues “I can’t believe it. I didn’t get cut off once today. In fact, it almost seemed like people were steering clear of me.” The reason was evident the next morning, as he spotted the sticker his colleagues had mischievously put on the rear of his truck: ‘Student Driver’.

Norman Dulwich is a correspondent for Courier Exchange, the world’s largest neutral trading hub for the same day courier jobs and express freight exchange industry. Over 2,500 transport exchange businesses are networked together through their website, trading courier services and capacity in a safe ‘wholesale’ environment.

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